It's a tale of fun,
In the surf and the sun.
There's no reason to grieve,
Even though we must leave,
So it's homeward at last,
This vacation is past.
Last year as we left our Beach Experience, Troubles arose. This year, they actually arose the evening before the exodus.
You may notice the size of the load which has been placed on this puny rack on my puny truck. It should be noted that this rack was hastily constructed for the purpose of carrying only a Kayak. The Fuzz must take responsibility for this. That seems to be what people do these days when there is trouble. Maybe he could refer to this as an "error in judgment" or something. In reality it is more like a bungle.
This rack was actually constructed quite flimsily on the foolish assumption that it would not be under much stress. This is actually rather uncharacteristic of The Fuzz who has historically overbuilt everything. It may have something to do with the "Downsizing" of his Truck to this tiny Oriental Thing, and the desire to travel "Light".
Be that as it may, on the evening before the exodus, a Heavy Duty Son, decided in his youthful exuberance, to use this Light Duty Rack, for what may be referred to as "playground equipment", with some disquieting results. You may notice that this inferior weld in this inferior design has failed. This is not a good thing. This has happened many, many miles from the Home Base.
While these things were transpiring, The Fuzz was blissfully unaware, peacefully laying in the air conditioned beach house reading "The Brothers Karamazov" (which is pretty good if you have the time). There, he was approached with the words, "We have a mechanical problem". This might not have been entirely accurate, but it was a problem nevertheless.
There is, I suppose, some advantage to not knowing about your problems in advance. The Fuzz would probably not have enjoyed this seaside excursion so much, knowing he would have to drive hundreds of miles beneath a canoe which could fall off the truck at any moment. This was a mercy.
So the canoe and kayak were gently placed on the now somewhat unstable rack. Then, The Fuzz, with the assistance of the Sons, strapped it all together, very tightly. Those straps with the ratchet things on them work very well. The Fuzz highly recommends them for times like this. The theory was, the canoe and kayak would keep the rack from collapsing on it self, and some other straps would keep it from falling apart. It was The Fuzz's Sweetie that recommended lashing the paddle to the rack in the hope that if it did come loose, it would at least stay in the truck.
And so, the next morning the rest of the stuff was loaded, and the trip began.
The first leg was over secondary two lane type roads. This was good because of the low speeds, but there were a lot of bumps. By the time he got to the Interstate, The Fuzz noticed that the canoe seemed to be moving around more than he liked, so he pulled over.
Things were beginning to get interesting now. The Fuzz discovered to his dismay, not one, but three defective welds. This is 3 out of 4, not good at all. This seemed to be some sort of "domino effect" due to the extra strain. Back into his bag of tricks. This was a little army surplus pack crammed with straps, ropes and stuff like that. The Fuzz highly recommends carrying these sort of things on trips, when it is inconvenient to bring a welder.
Now the strapping, tying, cussing and praying began in ernest. The State Troopers stopped to see if things were all right. They left on the assurance that there were no mechanical difficulties. They probably would not have been happy with the condition of the load. The end result was an incredible web of strapping and ropes, that fortunately held up the whole way home.
And so, the Beach trip is over for another year. Once again the Return Trip was a bit traumatic for The Fuzz. But once again all is well. It's all just the grace of God.
