It Just Goes On and On

Welp…

Still here, but feeling on the edge.

I'll admit it, this Stay at Home business is getting to me.  It's getting hard to get up in the morning.  Just doesn't seem to be much point - unless nature is calling.  That will do it.  I'm just not quite to the point where that wouldn't be enough.

Let's face it.  There are times when a good BM is the high point of the day.  And that seems like lately.

I'm just depressed, I suppose.

Nothing to do but wonder about every little "symptom"I think I notice.

Went out to the outhouse awhile ago.  There was a snake in there - harmless I realize.  But I just have this thing about snakes.

Now, I'm not sure where it's hiding in there.

This should be one of those "out of sight - out of mind" things.

But it doesn't really work like that in this case.

I'm afraid this might take some of the enjoyment out of that morning BM.

I know I should just forget about it.  I'm sure it's been there all along.

And yet…

Depression.

It's not that there is nothing to do.  There's plenty of work in the yard.  And that's not off limits.  The house needs a bunch of work too.  There are sewing projects, and just cleaning up a bit.  There is some writing I need to finish up.

I did make myself go out and do some weeding in the garden.

And felt the better for it.

That should be telling me something.

I realize I'm actually lucky.

If I were in New York, I'd probably be in a bodybag by now.

And I do have family.  They're just not here.

There's no one to talk to.

I do have conversations with Jandi.

They are getting more frequent.

Depression.

And then…

there is that snake.

𝕵𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎