The Return of Lydia (Rated "R")

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia The Tattooed Lady.
She has eyes that folks adore so,
and a torso even more so.



Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia The Queen of Tattoo.
On her back is The Battle of Waterloo.
Beside it, The Wreck of the Hesperus too.
And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue.
You can learn a lot from Lydia!

La-la-la...la-la-la.
La-la-la...la-la-la.

When her robe is unfurled she will show you the world,
if you step up and tell her where.
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree,
or Washington crossing The Delaware.

La-la-la...la-la-la.
La-la-la...la-la-la.

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia The Tattooed Lady.
When her muscles start relaxin',
up the hill comes Andrew Jackson.
Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia The Queen of them all.
For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz,
with a view of Niagara that nobody has.
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz.
You can learn a lot from Lydia!

La-la-la...la-la-la.
La-la-la...la-la-la.

Come along and see Buffalo Bill with his lasso.
Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso.
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon.
Here's Godiva, but with her pajamas on.

La-la-la...la-la-la.
La-la-la...la-la-la.

Here is Grover Whelan unveilin' The Trilon.
Over on the west coast we have Treasure Isle-on.
Here's Nijinsky a-doin' the rhumba.
Here's her social security numba.

La-la-la...la-la-la.
La-la-la...la-la-la.

Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia The Champ of them all.
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet.
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat.
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet,
for he went and married Lydia!


Well, I promised to keep you up to date on this Sordid Affair, so here are the latest additions. Some Color has been added and it's been given a bit of (Oriental) Character.
This is getting Kinda exciting. The Fuzz is thinking about another one himself. He like to passed out the first time, but things went better with the next. He's still got lots of room for more. Well, we'll see..................

Mail, Car Dealers, and "R" Ratings

Well, our collection of Cat Poetry continues to grow. Thanks to all these Gifted Poets.
In other affairs, The Fuzz got mail the other day. It wasn't a check though. It came from a local Car Dealer. This was his wonderful opportunity for a free automobile, or maybe some other great prize. Did his scratch-off number match the special number on this card ? He was not surprised to find that this was indeed the case.
As he read further, he was promised for sure, that he was in fact a winner. Then he noticed the little " * " there. On further examination of the tiny print, he found that this was actually subject to a match up of another number, only to be found at said Car Dealer.
But he thought, "What the hell, the dealer is in town, and I'll be out anyway". And so, after picking up Young Daughter from the School House, they headed over to collect his winnings.
After an extensive sales talk from "Mohamed", which The Fuzz was somehow able to resist, they found alas, no car, no 4 wheeler, nor $100 bill. But wonder of wonders, he had in fact won a $1,000 Shopping Spree. Young Daughter was thrilled. The Fuzz remained skeptical. He was given a Gift Certificate to go online and order $1,000 worth of Wonderful Merchandise at no cost to him except "Shipping and Handling".
His skepticism it seems was justified. When the Skeptical Fuzz did, in fact, go online, he found a limited selection of unimpressive stuff. And of course the "Shipping and Handling fees seemed a bit steep.
And so now he has a $1,000 Gift Certificate sitting here in front of him that he has no desire to use.

And now for the Scandal.

Yes this is the Topless Post.

The Fuzz wants to take this opportunity to show this Shiny New Tattoo in progress.

To respect her privacy, the woman involved will remain anonymous, but we will keep y'all posted as things progress.

And so, The Fuzz wishes everyone a Wonderful Weekend.